“When the noise had subsided, Kevin sat down on a stool and faced us. His expression became serious and he took a deep breath to signal that he was about to begin that night’s ‘devo.’ ‘I want you guys to realize,’ he began sincerely, that I understand where you are at in life. I know that, like, not a single one of you in this room is, like, actually getting along with your parents.”
“My mouth opened slightly in surprise as he looked at us knowingly. ‘In fact, he added in a challenging tone, ‘if anyone here can say with complete honesty that they actually like to be with your parents…raise your hands now.”
“…My heart began to pound as not a single one of my peers raised their hand. But the truth was, I could have raised my hand. I loved my parents. I loved spending time with them. At the confusing age of thirteen, I valued their support and encouragement and advice. I met Kevin’s probing gaze and he lifted a questioning eyebrow as if to say, ‘So…you want to contradict me?”
“…This was not a benign group. If I were to raise my hand and challenge the words of our ever-cool, highly esteemed study leader, Kevin…I would be mocked.”
“…I pursed my lips together and kept my hand down. After several heavy seconds of awkward silence, Kevin went on with his speech. ‘Just as I thought,’ he remarked with a sly grin. ‘No one in here has a good relationship with their parents. Now since I know that to be true, I want you all to know that during this time of you life when you can’t, like, relate to mom and dad anymore…I’m here. Hey, I’m young and I can relate to what you’re going through. I mean, your parents haven’t been in high school since, like, before the Dark Ages. Let’s be real here, your parents are like, kind of…out of it, you know?”
“…Confusion swirled around in my mind as I hurried out of the youth room that fateful night. According to Kevin, now that I was thirteen, I was supposed to start hating my parents. What is wrong with me? Why am I not normal? Maybe I really was the only one in that entire group who could have raised my hand…Maybe Kevin is right – maybe something is wrong with me if I like my parents. After all, he’s a Christian youth pastor!!” ~ When Dreams Come True by Eric & Leslie Ludy
Unfortunately, while I have never heard a youth pastor come straight out and speak so disrespectfully about parents, I have detected the attitude displayed in this quote in several youth groups I have attended. During my (almost) 3 year residence in the United States, I have come to perceive in Christian circles certain attitudes regarding the family relationship that are unbiblical and very detrimental to the Christians and society in general. Reading books like When Dreams Come True and just talking to Christian youth has really opened my eyes in many ways and has taught me a lot. I realized that is very easy for me as a home schooler and someone who spent most of my life away from the pop-culture to judge and say “she should do this,” and “he should not say that!” but I do not have to deal with the pressure and indoctrination that they do. I realized that unless there is strong biblical foundation, the Christian youth aren’t going to get anywhere, especially when their youth pastors’ are encouraging and promoting the idea that they cannot trust the very people God entrusted them to.
My observations since coming to the United States have led me to evaluate myself and my beliefs and to really seek out what it means to live a biblical Christian life. More specifically, what it means to live as a biblical woman in a modern society. I have come to realize that it all begins in the family. It is extremely important how I relate to my parents and siblings. Who are we to trust if we can’t trust our parents? They are the ones who know us the best, aren’t they? They know our weakness and our strengths. God gave us parents to guide and train us, so that we may be better enabled to serve Him. By not trusting our parents, aren’t we essentially saying we do not trust God?
The long and short of it is that this blog is a collection of my thoughts and observations since coming to America. More accurately, it is an account of my journey to becoming my father’s joy.
