Her children arise up, and call her blessed ~ Proverbs 31:28
I have been blessed with the influence of many many incredible woman in my life. I have never had to look at a woman I know well and love and say “I don’t want to be like her.” Most of the woman who have extreme influence in my life are all woman who I want to be like in some way. Many of these woman do not even know how much of an influence they have had and are having in my life, so I would like to do a series on the most influential woman in my life as a tribute to them and as a way to say “Thank you.”
Naturally, the first woman to talk about is my mother. She is the most beautiful, wisest woman I know. She has been insulted and hurt and she took it gracefully. She has been complimented and she has a lot of people looking up to her, and she gives God the credit. She has not been afraid to admit her mistakes to her children, and has not been afraid to show us she is human. She is wise and humble. She has ministered to many woman, and has given her life to serving her family. She has gone many times without friends to talk to, and she has kept our family strong. She has served us well, and we do not thank her nearly enough. She disciplined us as children, corrected and advised us as young adults. She offers unceasing prayer up for her children, and for those my parents minister to. She is truly amazing. God knew what he was doing when He chose her as my mother.
I was the first child in my family to be kept home with my parents and not be sent to boarding school. All three of my older siblings were sent to boarding school for a period time, but by the time I was born my parents had become aware of the choice of homeschooling. In third grade my older brother, Daniel, was brought home to be taught by my Mother, and my sister, Ruth-Anne, was brought home in ninth Grade. My eldest brother, John-Mark, chose to come home for his last year of High School after being in boarding school since the first grade. My Mother dedicated a lot of her time to educating my siblings and I. One thing I am most grateful to her for is that she took great pains to impress upon us the importance of good character over good grades, and the also instilled in us the love of learning. She spent a lot of time reading to Daniel and I when we were younger. We loved reading, and those hours we spent reading as a family were very special. She accommodated our love of reading with hundreds of books, but not just any books. She found good books that would build character and stretch our thinking.
Living in the village, she also gave us freedom. She let us be dirty. We ran with the pigs and the chickens. We helped our friends take the cows to the pasture. We went to the fields with our neighbors (although they would not let us help in them). We kept chickens, rabbits, dogs, cats, guinea pigs, and hamsters. We learned that the best toys are usually natural, like rocks and sticks. Our favorite balls to play with were pigs stomachs. We helped kill and clean chickens and fish, and we watched the killing and butchering of pigs. We learned about life through experience.
However, she didn’t just give us freedom. She also gave us responsibilities. She made us work. We had chores. She taught me that work may not be fun, but it needs to be done (although I still don’t like it).
As I grew older, I made things more difficult for her. Through it all she remained patient and she prayed…hard. I hit Junior High just as we returned to the U.S for home assignment. I started going to a Junior High Youth Group at a church where we lived. Although the leadership at the youth group never said anything against our parents, the general atmosphere in the group was that parents were old fashioned and didn’t understand us kids. I remember a clash I had with a good friend very clearly. Our group leader was asking for prayer requests, and I asked for prayer because my mom and I weren’t getting along. My friend responded with “that’s normal.” This angered me and I said “Maybe for you it is.” I still valued her influence, but something snapped when we returned to Thailand. I shut down and refused to talk to her. She tried to talk to me, and she tried giving me books to read, but I wouldn’t listen. I couldn’t see past myself. I needed a rude awakening.
Thankfully, God started working in my heart. I randomly picked up a book one day that my Mother had previously tried to read to me. It was called “Beautiful Girlhood.” I took the book seriously and God opened my heart to hear the words of my Mother. She listened as I told her different things the book said, and she gave her input. She bought me other books along similar lines, and she spoke to me about my role as a daughter and a sister. She helped me to see past myself.
She has dedicated a lot of time to me. One of my fondest memories of our time together in my High School years was during a conference our mission had. It was extremely busy, and we wouldn’t see each other all day. But every morning I would get up, go to her room and lay in bed with her and talk before we went to breakfast. This is just an example of her dedication. She has taken time off to listen to me my entire life. She is an extremely wise woman. She is constantly dropping her nuggets of wisdom in my lap. I love driving in the car with her, because we always have great conversations. Sometimes she tells me about what God is teaching her in her daily bible studies. Sometimes she talks about something she heard in the news, and talks about human nature and what the bible says. Sometimes she tells me about accidents she hears about in the news, and what that driver did wrong, so that I can learn from it and be a safer and better driver. She teaches me something new everyday without even trying.
She has been a wonderful mother. My brothers will testify to that, I am sure. I know she has been a listening ear to us all.
Not only has my mother been a wonderful mother to my siblings and I, but she has also been a wonderful mother and friend to others who are not her biological children. When I was young, my parents extended their arms out to a young 13 year old girl whose mother was the village prostitute. This young woman lived with us for as long as I can remember, and has always been considered our sister. When we moved from the village she was born in, she moved with us. My brothers played the same pranks on her as they did on my sister and I. And my Mother was and is a mother to her as well.
When my family returned from home assignment in the U.S in the fall of 2001, we moved into a Thai town rather than a Hmong village. My parents extended their arms out to two Hmong High School girls and invited them to come live with us and go to school in the Thai town. Both girls were girls my family has known my entire life. My mother was very kind to both girls. One of the girls studied very hard, and if allowed, would bury herself in homework all day long. Because of this, my mother required the two of them to cook some meals to make sure that they took breaks from studying.
Several years ago, my family made friends with a young Christian Thai couple in the town we lived in. Not very long into our friendship with them, their marriage fell apart. They were running a Christian Guest house at the time, and the owner let them go because of their broken marriage. My parents invited them to live in our home until they could each find a place of their own. This young couple had a two year old daughter. My mother listened to the young woman and counseled her as best she could. And I know the young woman appreciated my mother’s friendship.
Not to long after that family left our house, my parents opened up our house to another young woman with two little boys. This young woman’s husband had been put in jail and both her family and her husbands family had rejected her and her two boys. My mother opened up her arms to this young woman. She spent many hours listening to this young woman as she cried and poured out her heart. She gave her work to do around the house, and comforted her. She showed the young woman the love of God. My mother gave her advice on raising her sons, and she gave the young woman the love that she needed. But most of all, my Mother has been an amazing example to all of us.
She is truly The Wing Beneath My Wings and she’s my hero.
