My Father's Joy Weblog

I’ve been thinking lately how focused our culture is on relationships with the opposite sex. I’ve been told my entire life that it is natural for kids to get crushes once they hit puberty, and as a result of that, it is natural for a relationship to ensue. While I recognize that certain hormones and body changes occur at a certain age, I don’t think it follows that there should be a relationship. I think the book “The Three Weavers” is a perfect example. In this book, the there are three weavers who each have a daughter. Now there is a prophecy concerning the three girls saying that they will marry a prince one day if they can weave a cloak that perfectly fits him. Now each daughter is given a loom on which she can weave her prince’s cloak. Each weaver has his own way of preparing his daugher for the task. The first weaver allows his daughter to do as she pleases upon the loom, never checking to see how she fares. The second weaver keeps it hidden from her. When she finds it and asks him about it, he yells at her and forbids her from touching it. The third father waits until his daughter finds it and asks him about it, then he quietly and gently guides her as she learns the proper way to weave. When the handsom boys of her girlish fancy pass by, her father quietly reminds her to measure them by the standard of his rod and see if they fit the cloak, which is being made for her prince. The other two girls clip their weaving whenever they desire and give it to one boy after another, so that when the princes arrive the cloaks are not fit for a slave and their eyes are opened to see what the boys of their girlish fancies truly are. The third girl had the same girlish fancies and desires as her companions, but she learned to guard her heart and wait for something greater and better than she could imagine in her mind. While her companions were left brokenhearted and full of remorse, she was reaping her rewards. Does it make sense to let the girls in our world today clip their weavings to give to any lad that comes along?

We as Christians are also too focused on relationships. The majority of youth groups I have been to are usually either discussing relationships or have people flaunting their relationships. When I have gone to Woman’s bible studies, a lot of the conversation, no matter what was being studied, was on the role of woman as wives. Please understand that I do think this is a good thing…we need to have a good biblical understanding of our roles. I am just trying to make the point that whether we are married or single, the majority of us are focused on relationships. This isn’t a bad thing, by any means. What is bad is that we focus on the wrong relationships, or we focus on good relationships too much. The one relationship we need to be focusing on, we are often all to busy to focus on. This is our relationship with Jesus Christ.

My whole life I have wanted to get married, have kids, and be a stay at home home schooling Mom. This desire is still in me, and it is a good desire. However, my perspective on relationships and on what is important is being transformed. My entire life I have believed in saving my heart and body for one man – my husband. I still believe in purity of heart and body. But my perspective has changed in how to go about preparing myself for marriage, if that is indeed in my future. While I still believe it is good to prepare for marriage by learning basic house hold activities like cooking, washing, and cleaning, I no longer think it should be a young woman’s primary focus. Leslie Ludy spoke on this topic in her podcast “Is Jesus Really Enough?” on her website www.setapartgirl.com. She talks about how if we give our whole hearts to Jesus; if he really is enough to satisfy our innermost longings, than we will be free to give unconditionally in the relationships we are in. Many of us get married hoping to have certain desires fulfilled by our spouse, but in reality those desires can only be satisfied the lover of our souls – Jesus. If we allow Jesus to be our lover, than we will be more free to love unconditionally. Instead of focusing so much on what our roles are as wives or daughters, we should focus on our relationship with Christ. Once this happens, there will be a natural out pouring of our hearts upon those around us.

I had a friend ask me “Don’t you wish you have a boyfriend, like I do?” My answer is this: if I was a non believer, than I would definitely have a strong desire, perhaps even need, for a boyfriend. As a Christian the desire for companionship is here, but Jesus can fill that desire. So while the desire for marriage may never leave, the need for it can and will. In the words of Leslie’s sister-in-law Krissy (http://setapartgirl.com/my-podcast/Entries/2008/9/15_Krissy%E2%80%99s_Story.html), “today I am called to be single.”

So I felt challenged with the question that Leslie discussed; Is Jesus really enough? I recognize that I have put Jesus on the back burner, attending to other things first. I love my Lord and Savior, and I have for a long time, but I have not always made Him my first priority. I am putting Him first now, before everything else. And I know that He can satisfy my every desire. I learned that through all my moving around and shifting of friends from one country to another. I need to work on my relationship with my Beloved, but I know that He is enough. James says “Draw near to God and He will draw near to you.” Thank You Lord Jesus!

http://setapartgirl.com/my-podcast/Entries/2008/11/17_Is_Jesus_Really_Enough.html