My Father's Joy Weblog

Leaving Eden

myfathersjoy — Thu, 26 Jan 2012 01:28:33 +0000

I was driving in the car one day and a song came on over the radio. I listened to it and it tugged at my heart. A while later I randomly decided to look the song up on YouTube. I found a clip where the singer talks about the song and asks a few questions to go with it. The song is “Leaving Eden” by Brandon Heath. His questions and discussion got me thinking and I want to share those thoughts with you.

Leaving Eden Conversation

My Eden: My Eden is pretty predictable if you know me at all. Thailand is my Eden. You need to understand that Thailand itself isn’t my Eden, nor was my life in Thailand perfect. It holds for me, though, an emotional sense of peace and innocence. It was a time where all was right. I was surrounded by poverty, spiritual depravity, evil, and lost people, but my own little world was perfect. I felt safe and I lived in a close knit community where I knew everyone and they all knew me. My heart was full, my life secure, my family whole, and my future known. And then I grew up.

My Apple: This is the hardest one for me to pin point. The more I think about it, though, the more I am convinced that my apple is the media. It is the current culture. Brandon asked in the clip “what is stealing your innocence.” Over the last couple years, I’ve begun to realize that the more I am exposed to pop culture and media, the more I lose my innocence. I love music, movies, etc. but I have come to realize that much of what you watch and listen to can be detrimental to your emotional and spiritual health. See, the sad thing is that I can’t escape from it. Even when I stop watching certain movies and listening to certain music, there are magazines, billboards, and other things screaming at you from every direction. It can also be hard when your peers are into the things you are trying to pull away from. There are just some things I wish I didn’t know; that I could erase from my memory. But I can’t.

My Heart: Missions. This is something where you could look at me and say, “She is only into missions because her parents are missionaries.” And that has some truth. My parent’s choice to be missionaries did shape me in many ways, but the passion for missions that I have is definitely my own. I love God, and I love people. God has commissioned us to spread the gospel and disciple the nations and I take that very seriously.

I can’t share my heart without saying that my heart is also this: children. Nothing makes me happier than interacting with a child. Put me in a room with a child and leave me with him/her alone, and I will be completely content.

So I’ve shared my Eden, Apple, and Heart. What is yours?

Thank You!

myfathersjoy — Wed, 25 Jan 2012 07:54:31 +0000

I was recently thinking about a certain song that I’ve found myself continuely drawn to this month, and I want to share it. It is called “Thank You” by JJ Heller and it is the song of this month. It just expresses the thanks I feel in my heart and soul for everything God has done for me, from something as simple as a wild flower to something as extreme and important as saving me.

Thank You

For painted purple skies

For never telling lies

For giving all you had away

For crying when I cry

Ooh thank you…

For changing autumn leaves

The salty ocean breeze

For coming down from heaven to save a wretch like me

Ooh thank you…

I can’t understand why you left your throne

But I know that you came and you saved my soul…

Amazing grace

How sweet the sound

I once was lost, but now I’m found

Ooh, thank you

Thank You ~ JJ Heller

With You all The Way

myfathersjoy — Fri, 06 Jan 2012 02:13:47 +0000

“Out of all the voices calling out to me I will choose to listen and believe the voice of Truth”

This Christmas as I walked through the stores, what tugged at my heart and filled me with longing were not material things, but rather memories. I walked through the bookstore and saw Christmas books that I read as a child, and they called to me. I longed to buy all of my favorite Christmas stories and curl up in a corner with hot chocolate and read. But the truth is I knew that reading the books would not fill the longing in my heart. The memories locked away in my mind were surfacing and calling out to be set free. Trying to relive those memories would never work. I had changed and my life has changed so much that I simply could not go back. So I walked on by and simply remembered. But as I remembered my favorite childhood books, a particular book surfaced in my memory and I could not rest until I had found it. So I searched on Amazon and bought it. This is a book that has stuck with me through thick and thin and has reminded me to always walk in Jesus’ footsteps.

The book is a Max Lucado book called “With You All the Way.” The book starts out with the King offering the hand of his daughter to the first knight who can prove himself worthy (there are 3 knights contesting). The knights had to pass a test, which turned out to be a journey through the dreaded forest of Hemlock; home to the conniving and evil Hopenots. The King gave each knight permission to choose one companion to go with him. They were to find their way through the dark and deadly forest by listening for the King’s tune, which would be played on his flute three times a day. As the story goes, the knights picked their companions and went on their way. The entire kingdom waited in suspense for the return of the champion. Finally, two men are seen making their way out of the forest. The King sent men out to meet them and tend to them, but the identity of the knight was kept a secret until the banquet that evening. The knight made his appearance and was asked to tell about his journey. “The hopenots were crafty. They attacked, but we fought back. They took our horses, but we continued. What nearly destroyed us, though, was something far worse. They imitated. Each time the song of your flute would enter the forest; a hundred flutes would begin to play. All around us we heard music – songs from every direction.”

The king enquired how he heard his song, and the knight replied. “I chose the right companion.” It was the Prince. “I knew there was only one who could play you song exactly like you. As we journeyed, he played your song. I learned it so well that though a thousand false flutes tried to hide your music, I could hear you song above them all. It was with me all the way.”

It is a simple book. But it has always convicted me and reminded me to not get distracted by all the voices around me. It reminds me to keep myself immersed in scripture, to always pray, and never stop listening. I don’t always do these things well, but I try. Every time I read the book, I am reminded that He is with me all the way.

A Lesson From Katie: Thankfulness for God’s blessings

myfathersjoy — Thu, 17 Nov 2011 01:28:28 +0000

I’ve been reading a book: Kisses from Katie. It is about Katie Davis, a young single woman serving God in Uganda. Katie visited Uganda in High School and returned to live the following year. Since she first went to Uganda, Katie has adopted 14 girls, started a sponsorship program for kids who can’t afford school, etc. and provides meals for starving family on a regular basis. Katie, in a sense, is doing what I’ve dreamed of doing my whole life: serving God in a third world country and caring for the motherless, widows, and the least. Every ounce of my being aches in longing as I read Katie’s story. I am happy for her and for the Ugandan lives she has touched. I rejoice that God has used her to literally save lives and to love His children with His love. And yet I couldn’t help envying her. I envied her of her life of simplicity, her closeness to God through carrying for the dying, the joy of seeing empty eyes restored to life, hearing the words “mommy” uttered by the most unlikely of children. But through reading this book, I have begun to see my current life differently. I have often wondered what would have happened had I not returned to the U.S. 6 years ago. Who would I be? Would I be much different than I am now? Would I be stronger, more in love with God, more mature? Would I be less so? I’ve wondered what life I missed out on by not being in Thailand, what people I missed meeting, what lessons I missed learning. What I forgot about, though, was all the blessings, the lessons, and the friends I have received here in the U.S.

What if I had never lived in Lemoore? I would never have met two of my closest friends; Brittany and Cori. Those two girls have inspired me in so many ways. Given the choice again, I would choose to move to Lemoore, just so I could meet them.

If I hadn’t lived in Lemoore, I would have never met some of my favorite families: The Buus’s, the Poppy’s, the Ladd’s, the Fraley’s, the Green’s, and my list goes on. Each child in those families has found a way to nestle into my heart. There is no way I would change that. And I have learned so many lessons from the parents of those wonderful kids!

If I hadn’t lived in Lemoore, I would not have met the LaPierre’s. Scott and Katie have taught me so much and inspired me beyond belief. I am so thankful to have met them and been privileged to spend time with them and be taught by them. No, I would not change that either.

And then there is the Perkins. Probably one of the coolest families I’ve ever met. Mrs. Perkins is the sweetest woman I know. I will be forever thankful for the friend she has been to my Mom.

My list could go on. All the way from the friends I have made (Lauren Momberger, the Felix’s, etc) to the experiences I have had. I would not change any of it.

And then I think about what would have happened had I not moved to San Jose.

I would have never met Arielle, Katherine, Carissa, Audrey, Danielle, Steven, or Erynn (and many, many other wonderful people). Friends are wonderful things, especially when they share the same vision and passions, and, ultimately, the same love for God. These are friendships I would not wish to lose.

If I’d never moved to San Jose, I would not have volunteered at the Venture Jr. High and met the many amazing students that come to Venture. I would not have had the chance to learn from the girls in my small group. I would not have been offered an internship and would not have had the opportunity to serve under the most amazing youth pastor I could ever ask to serve under.

If I had not moved to San Jose, I would not have led a mission’s trip to Thailand this last August. I would not have seen the impact of Thailand on my friends and my friends on Thailand.

If I had not moved to San Jose, I would not have had the joy of serving food to the homeless, packing 50 Operation Christmas Child boxes with fellow college students and 63 boxes with sweet Jr. High students. I would not see what it is like to minister and serve in a U.S city.

If I had not moved to the U.S I would have missed out on many lessons, blessings, and beautiful relationships. I don’t know fully know what I would have had if I had been able to stay in Thailand, but I know that even in a “strange” land I was giving many beautiful blessings for which I am thankful.

My time will come. I will return home, or go wherever else God may call me. But my time for leaving has not yet arrived. I am thankful for what I have.

God is Amazing!

myfathersjoy — Tue, 27 Sep 2011 06:39:09 +0000

So many things have happened these last two weeks reminding me, once again, what an awesome, amazing God I serve. I just have to share what I wrote down in my journal.

1. Anthem Missions – providing an amazing team (Anthem is my college group at church. I am part of the missions team)

2. Making room for Erynn at Downtown Dogs by giving Shawn a different job. A friend of mine applied at my work, but all of the positions had been filled. Suddenly one of the newly hired employees left for a better job. I personally think it was a total God thing, making room for my friend Erynn to get the job!

3. Carissa. First of all, Carissa herself is a constant reminder of how amazing God is. But I have several “categories” under Carissa.

a. Providing a bible study night for her brothers – our college groups have bible studies, but there were none that were on nights her brother could go. Jai, the Anthem small group coordinator, talked our friend Steven into starting a small group and he purposely set it for a night that Carissa’s brothers could go.

b. Contacting the health woman (for lack of better words). Carissa lives in constant pain because of some health issues, and a friend recommended someone who might be able to help.

c. Mogli’s friend coming to Anthem. (Mogli is a nickname for one of Carissa’s brothers). It is always amazing to see new people at church, getting connected, and becoming interested in God!

4. Steven starting a small group – the one Carissa’s brothers are attending. It is really neat to see how God has worked it out. From what I understand, he already has quite a few guys in his group. God is good.

5. Seeing and conversing with several new people at the college group reminded me, again, that God is moving and working in people’s lives.

6. John 15. This one is a big one for me this week. It all started when Steven texted John 15 to several of us a couple weeks ago. Then last Monday night I walked into C28 (Christian clothing store) looking for a birthday gift for my friend, Arielle. The first shirt that caught my eye was an immediate yes for a gift, but once I looked at it closer I realized it had John 15:1 on it. I then started conversing with the two employees in the store, one of which had her bible open to John 15. She had just been reading it right before I walked in. And they had recently covered John 15 in their bible study. I talked with them for 20-30 minutes about John 15, scripture, and God before heading off to Bible study. And then, to top it off, tonight I talked to my 10 year old brother on skype. We somehow got on the topic of the Bible, and I asked him if he reads his bible much. Talking about that inspired him to ask us to do a Bible study together over Skype, and he picked John 15:7! As if that wasn’t amazing enough, he led the discussion and closed us in prayer! Love that guy!

7. God providing another leader for our Jr. High group at church

8. And last, but not least, coming to the realization of how many people I know who are feeling called to overseas missions. Two guys in my college group leave for YWAM this week, and I found out two of my friends from Lemoore are heading to Uganda this summer! And then, of course, there is my good friend Cori who is leaving for South Africa in January to spend a year doing missions work there!!!!! If you would like to help my friends out, Lauren and Heather are selling Ty Dye Shirts (http://http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=608235124#!/pages/To-Dye-For/215976951794064). Cori has a blog (http://http://jubilee-southafrica.blogspot.com/) you should check out and keep tabs on. You’ll love her perspective on life

Hume Lake

myfathersjoy — Sun, 24 Jul 2011 03:30:11 +0000

As we walked away from the campfire, I watched the sea of girls spread out before me on the trail leading back to camp and listened to the (somewhat) low voices singing praise to God behind us and my heart smiled. The cold wind nipped at my skin, but I didn’t shiver. I felt warmth in me as I walked in silence and listened to the masculin voices behind me and thought to myself, “these are our next generation of men.” I smiled. It is such a pleasure to see young boys giving their lives over to God, praising Him and proclaiming Him. It was the last night of camp and we had all gathered around a campfire to share stories of how God was working in our lives that week. I’ve heard many testimonies in my life, but few have given me such joy as the joy I felt listening to those junior high brothers and sisters sharing their heart that night. But as excited as I was at the thought of those young boys giving their lives to God and rising up as the next generation of men, I was even more excited, and might I say honored, that I had the opportunity to influence a few of the next generation of woman. Being able to interact and converse with the ladies in my cabin just filled my heart with gladness. Some of the conversations had me at a loss for words, and some had me in tears. I often found myself crying out to God, “I don’t know what to do. I don’t know what to say. I don’t know how to help them. But You do.” In the last sermon I heard my pastor preach before I left for Hume he had us say “I can’t, but He never said I could. He can and He always said He would.” I can’t tell you how many times I repeated those words this week. I felt inadequate, but I knew that as long as I was willing God would work through me. I don’t know if He did, but I know that He did work in me. I came away from that camp with a greater sense of dependence on God. I came away realizing that I really can’t do anything without Him. I already knew that to a certain extent. But this time it is almost as if I am coming away crying out the way David did in the Psalms. There is still so much more work to be done. There is still so much more “my” girls will be going through. The only way I can ever be of service to them is if I fully rely on God to work through me, and not try to do it on my own. The truth is, my heart breaks for them. My heart breaks over them. They have so much going on in their lives, and they have so much more difficulties that will come. If only I could make the load easier. If only I could take away their pain. I can’t, but He can. He can heal them; that I know.

Lost for Words

myfathersjoy — Sat, 02 Jul 2011 18:55:03 +0000

I recently discovered the amazing musical abilities of JJ Heller and have not been able to get enough of her music. There are two songs of hers in particular that I can not seem to get enough of. I think they are a good indicator of where I am spiritually right now. The first one I will share with you is Small off of her album “The Pretty & The Plain.”

“I don’t want to make you small
I don’t want to fit you in my pocket
A cross around my throat
You are brighter than the sun
You’re closer than the tiny thoughts I have of you
But I could never fathom you at all”

I find the melody itself is quite beautiful, but what really gets me are the words. I can not even fathom all that God is, and when I try I just find myself amazed. I know there is so much more to Him than what my mind is able to comprehend, and I do not want to limit Him to what I can understand. It is so easy to wear bracelets and necklaces with christian jargons and verses and to walk around and talk about God and Jesus when He is so much more!

The other song that I found myself playing over and over again is Where I Land off of the same album.

“And I am lost for words
You’re more than I deserve
You have a way of stirring up my soul
Did you know
When you hold me in your arms the way you do
It feels like coming home
And I am lost for words
You’re more than I deserve
And when I cannot stand
You are where I land”

The more I learn about myself and have to live with myself, the more I realize that I truly deserve death. And yet I have been given, not just life, but a relationship with God himself! I relate to this song so well because my heart cries out to God that He truly is more than I deserve. I really am at a loss for words when I think about all He has done and all that He offers us.

Of Pretty Things and Fun

myfathersjoy — Mon, 23 May 2011 23:45:00 +0000

I have a favorite hangout where I like to go to be alone. It has many attractive factors to it; excercise, a view, and no distractions. Basically, it is a trail to the top of a hill where there is a bench and a view of the city. I like to go up there to talk to God and meditate on Scriptures and get away from the craziness of life. The last time I went I took my camera with me and these are the results. It wasn’t the best time of day for pictures lighting wise, but I wanted to take pictures anyway. So as a result the lighting is very harsh. I had fun though, so I’m happy.

I like flowers!

I brought my bible with me

I had a hard time taking this one because of the wind blowing the grass.

The "dead" portion of the flower fascintated me.

I decided to give the “typical” self-portrait/social networking profile picture deal I despise so much a shot

Last but not least

My Friend Moe

myfathersjoy — Wed, 18 May 2011 21:50:04 +0000

I knew her by reputation. Her name was on the lips of almost everyone I knew, and the sweetness by which her name was spoken was a simple reflection of her character. We worked together, and yet barely spoke. Our job was such that although we worked at the same time, we worked seperatly so we rarely conversed. We ran in the same circle and had many of the same friends, and yet rarely bumped into each other. We babysat for the same family and loved on the same kids. The few times I had conversed with her were enough that I felt we could be good friends. One day I ran into her while stopping by an old job of mine, and seeing how once again we had the same job (albeit at different times) I told her she should apply for my latest job, as they were still hiring. She did and she got in. We worked different shifts, so we still didn’t see each other much. And then one day, I don’t quite know how, we began leaving notes for each other. We would leave inspiring, funny, or encouraging quotes or bible verses. Everyday we’d come to a new quote or message from the other person. It became very special to me. I always smiled when I read what she wrote. Our friendship grew and soon we could be found having many adventures together: horseback riding
on the beach, rock climbing in the rain, skiing, camping, game nights, bible study, and the list goes on. We have many special memories together that will last a lifetime. I am so thankful for them. But mostly I am thankful for her. She inspires me and encourages me. Her cheerful voice uplifts my spirit everytime I hear it. When I look at pictures and see her smiley face I am reminded of her kindness and happy disposition. She is encouraging and kind. She loves Jesus with all her heart and loves to talk about Him and what He is teaching her. She always has something new to share. Her love for Him and her excitement is contagous. I barely see her now. We both moved away. But we talk on the phone when we can and our friendship remains strong. I miss her a lot, but I am forever thankful to God for her. She turned a page of her life last year when she
moved away from home and went to school. And now this year she is turning another page as she prepares to follow her Savior to South Africa. I am so very excited and happy for her. Many new things she will learn and many new adventures whe will have. She may get lonely. She may get scared. But she will have her best friend with her and He will sustain her through it all. I already knew she would do great things for God, and I feel so privilaged to be able to watch it happen. So, Cori, I want you to know that I’m here for you, cheering for you, and praying for you. Don’t worry about Larry. I’ll take good care of him for you Go fight the good fight Annie. I’ll be fighting along side you, albeit from across the sea.

I Close My Eyes

myfathersjoy — Thu, 05 May 2011 05:23:04 +0000

I close my eyes and can feel their arms around me. I can feel the soft kisses on my cheek. I close my eyes and can feel his head against mine, his voice repeating the words I say. I can feel the light weight of his body in my arms. I close my eyes and I can see her smile. I can hear her contageous laugh. I close my eyes and I remember precious moments gone by. Moments to be cherished and locked away in my mind, never to be released. I close my eyes and I thank God for the children who cross my path.