Brave

 “Promise me you’ll always remember: you’re braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.” ~ Christopher Robin 

She calls out in the night, “P, please hold me.” I put my hand on her stomach and she falls right back asleep. It amazes me that all it takes to chase her midnight fears away is a simple touch. She seems to have this fear that I am not there. Every night she makes this request, as if to confirm my presence. I have gotten used to it, and she calls out more infrequently now than before. I am amazed how easily her fear is quelled, but saddened by how real it is. She is so young, but has already been separated from the people who have been her constant (her parents). Now she has new constants, new people to rely on. Will she wake up and find us gone?

She tells me “P, I’m a big girl now. I don’t cry.” It is true. She doesn’t cry when she gets dropped off at school anymore. She’s our brave little princess. She doesn’t cry anymore, but she still makes a simple, yet telling statement every day. Her statement tells me that the fear that wakes her up at night haunts her day time as well. “P, come and pick me up later, okay?” she says. Everyday I reassure her that I will be back.

Brave.

    It is a perfect word to describe our girls. Circumstances in their lives have made it unsafe for them to be with their families. They know that their families are not perfect and have problems, but family is family. Their little hearts still break. Every day they wake up knowing that in this home they are loved. Every day they have clothes to wear and food in their stomachs. Every day they laugh and play. Every day they learn. Every day their heart breaks. Every day they are brave.

As I sit here and reflect on little “Anna” and her fears, I am reminded that she is not the only one with the fear of being left alone. On dark days when I feel suffocated by the darkness, I have also called out to my heavenly father. I have also asked for a sign of His presence. I have also searched for confirmation that He will not leave me. And He has been there every time. He has held me when the darkness closed in. He has promised that “he will not fail you or forsake you.”(Deuteronomy 31:6)

I can’t chase their fears away. I can only teach them that their heavenly father will always be there for them. I can only pray that they receive this truth into their hearts and walk in the confidence of His unfailing love.